So often we come accross people who are hurting and do not know how to handle the situation so well. We think we need to give them advice or answer all their questions and often tend to make the situation so much worse by doing this...

So how do we best handle such a situation?

Well many years of ministry has taught me a few good tips that I thought I would share with you...

1. Always try to rather listen and encourage rather than to give advice or answer all the persons questions. Give a hug or just spend time in silence if needed.

2. Try to think the best of the person. Too often we judge and think that it is a result of sin or of bad choices that they are in this situation.

3. Pray for and with that person. Lift them up to God and ask Him to help them with what they are dealing with.

4. Remember that the devil is the one who accuses and condemns, God is the one who forgives, loves and encourages. We need to be loving, forgiving and usher them back into Gods presence. They are probably already feeling guilty and bad, we do not need to make it worse!

5. Don't think of yourself better than the person, we often tend to think but I never did that or I never did this...

6. Ask questions and gently probe the person to help them think through the situation and help them to come up with ways to solve it on their own.

7. Pray for yourself and ask God to help you with that person. That He will give you wisdom and strength to handle the situation and to do what is needed to help that person.

8. Help the person to feel safe and secure around you like they can share any of their inner most hurts with you and you will not think any less of them or be totally shocked at what they say.

9. See if there are any practical needs that you can meet. For example if someone in their family has passed away offer to bring them dinner for a night or two until the initial shock has passsed by.

10. Pay attention to the persons body language and see if there are any hidden motives. Make sure that they have not just fallen in love with you and are trying to get your attention! It is always best to have girls counsel girls and guys counsel guys, if this is not possible then make sure you have your meetings in a more public place such as a coffee shop or so to protect yourself!

Hope this is helpful